• RATINGS GUIDE


    An amazing film


    A very good film


    Worth the money to check out at least at a matinee


    Didn't impress me much either way


    Bad, Bad, movie


    It should go back into the shadows from whence it came!!!

D.C.MOVIEGIRL’S FALL/WINTER MOVIE PREDICTIONS

Remember that time and energy, I have so little of these days?
Well, this is the result. This is my abbreviated Fall/Winter movie prediction list.

I can see the future so clearly, y’all… *looks into crystal ball*

Yes, it’s coming through, right now:

THE WOMEN*gasp!* So bad…So, So horrifyingly bad…

AUSTRALIA – I see Far and Away part 2, with a bigger budget…

EAGLE EYE – I see audiences across the country, distracted by Shia’s youthful Shia-ness, convincing no one he’s a “business man” in a movie that makes absolutely no sense and yet…. it will still somehow, be entertaining…

APPALOOSA – I see a badass western, that no one will see…

BURN AFTER READING – Frances MacDormand will sarcastically quip, Brad Pitt’s head will comically wag, John Goodman will sneer, in another Coentastical wonder.

BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA – I see an abomination of a movie made by Satan himself.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON – Projectors across the country will melt from combined Cate Blanchett/Tilda Swinton ferociousness…

THE QUANTUM OF SOLACE – Daniel Craig will once again, kick ass and take names…

MIRACLE AT ST. ANNA – I see a man riding on a dolly, during a contemplative walk…

THE SPIRIT – It will be the stupid, sexist, and self-derivative vanity project, everyone thinks it is…

TWILIGHT – Many will laugh uproariously at the bad wigs and cheese…

guaranteed awesomely bad, y’all
this is what I’ll look like, watching Twilight…minus the 80’s jacket, jheri curl,
and being michael jackson, of course

THE DUCHESS – Kiera Knightley’s flinty jawline and boy-chest will jut with much delicious attitude and pomp…

LAKEVIEW TERRACE – Samuel L. Jackson will be the best part of a crap movie…

TYLER PERRY’S THE FAMILY THAT PREYS – Tyler Perry will once again convince no one he’s straight in a trite soap operatic drama…

RELIGULOUS – I see stupid fundies protesting, lending more controversy and therefore ticket sales to this pot-kettle of a movie…That will STILL rock my socks.

GHOST TOWN – I see a middling movie that wishes it were Heart and Souls

THE SECRET LIVES OF BEES*rubs head* I see four Magical Negresses…

ROCK’N’ROLLA – It will try way to hard to be cool…

W – I see so many guilty Bush-voters shaking their heads, in amazement at their own stupidity…

CITY OF EMBER*puts down the crystal ball for second to wonder why this hasn’t gotten any buzz* Bill Murray, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, and Tim Robbins in a grimy steam-punkish, post-apocalyptic, kids’ fantasy adventure??!! YES PLEASE!! *picks the crystal ball up, again*

BODY OF LIES – I see a taut thriller with much serious brow-furrowing included.

NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST – I see two disaffected young people with monotone voices, pretending not to be in love….

MAX PAYNE – I see another video game movie following the rule: no video game movie shall ever be good…

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 – I see the strange, warped minds of tweens eating this crap up, to mind-bogglingly, high box office receipts…

*puts the crystal ball down*

Yes, I know there are still many to see, but I must rest my weary senses. If you have a film you want me to check my crystal ball for, feel free submit them in a comment.

…Oh, and Warner Bros?? F&^& you VERY MUCH for moving Harry Potter up to the Summer.

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