dcmovegirl

HAMLET 2

dcmoviegirl — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:25:58 +0000

Here’s the thing about Hamlet 2. I think your enjoyment of this film will hinge upon whether or not you find Steve’s manic depressive antics funny. If you don’t, you’ll hate this, because it’s all him, in the same way a Jim Carrey film is all Jim Carrey (whose antics I now loathe)…

The stuffy E Street audience wasn’t laughing nearly as much as I thought they should at Mr. Steve, but even I have to admit the pantless joke was run into the ground.

I personally found him hilarious and am now crushing hard on the man.

The beginning of this movie gives Tropic Thunder’s beginning a run for the money. In fact, it easily bests it, in my opinion. I laughed so hard, I hurt myself, y’all.

Then it gets uneven in the laugh department, lessening significantly as the movie runs its course.

Still the film is very energetic in a way that draws you along, despite the thin characters and thinner laughs late in the game. None of the students made an impact, except Skyler Astin, whose enthused jog near the beginning had me rolling; and Catherine Keener, of course, who is her regular, affably funny self.

The music wasn’t as good as the hype machine would have you believe. “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” wasn’t all that, but the first song performed in the musical was awesome. Also, for all the talk about how torrid and risque the musical was, the final product left me wanting in that department…except for that first song.

This is easily one for “the every time it comes on cable, the remote will stop surfing” pile. If you’re the type who loves these kinds of movies (vulgar, Brit, slapstick, served with a big cheesy smile) then you’ll love this.

I am that type and therefore I loved this movie.

It gets the , for the rest of y’all, though.

PARENTS: It’s all language. Nothing vulgar is shown, except for a blur of a frontal and a naked booty. I think the teens are good to go.

D.C.MOVIEGIRL’S FALL/WINTER MOVIE PREDICTIONS

dcmoviegirl — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 18:05:06 +0000

Remember that time and energy, I have so little of these days?
Well, this is the result. This is my abbreviated Fall/Winter movie prediction list.

I can see the future so clearly, y’all… *looks into crystal ball*

Yes, it’s coming through, right now:

THE WOMEN – *gasp!* So bad…So, So horrifyingly bad…

AUSTRALIA – I see Far and Away part 2, with a bigger budget…

EAGLE EYE – I see audiences across the country, distracted by Shia’s youthful Shia-ness, convincing no one he’s a “business man” in a movie that makes absolutely no sense and yet…. it will still somehow, be entertaining…

APPALOOSA – I see a badass western, that no one will see…

BURN AFTER READING – Frances MacDormand will sarcastically quip, Brad Pitt’s head will comically wag, John Goodman will sneer, in another Coentastical wonder.

BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA - I see an abomination of a movie made by Satan himself.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON – Projectors across the country will melt from combined Cate Blanchett/Tilda Swinton ferociousness…

THE QUANTUM OF SOLACE – Daniel Craig will once again, kick ass and take names…

MIRACLE AT ST. ANNA – I see a man riding on a dolly, during a contemplative walk…

THE SPIRIT - It will be the stupid, sexist, and self-derivative vanity project, everyone thinks it is…

TWILIGHT – Many will laugh uproariously at the bad wigs and cheese…

guaranteed awesomely bad, y’all
this is what I’ll look like, watching Twilight…minus the 80′s jacket, jheri curl,
and being michael jackson, of course

THE DUCHESS – Kiera Knightley’s flinty jawline and boy-chest will jut with much delicious attitude and pomp…

LAKEVIEW TERRACE - Samuel L. Jackson will be the best part of a crap movie…

TYLER PERRY’S THE FAMILY THAT PREYS – Tyler Perry will once again convince no one he’s straight in a trite soap operatic drama…

RELIGULOUS – I see stupid fundies protesting, lending more controversy and therefore ticket sales to this pot-kettle of a movie…That will STILL rock my socks.

GHOST TOWN – I see a middling movie that wishes it were Heart and Souls…

THE SECRET LIVES OF BEES – *rubs head* I see four Magical Negresses…

ROCK’N'ROLLA – It will try way to hard to be cool…

W – I see so many guilty Bush-voters shaking their heads, in amazement at their own stupidity…

CITY OF EMBER – *puts down the crystal ball for second to wonder why this hasn’t gotten any buzz* Bill Murray, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, and Tim Robbins in a grimy steam-punkish, post-apocalyptic, kids’ fantasy adventure??!! YES PLEASE!! *picks the crystal ball up, again*

BODY OF LIES – I see a taut thriller with much serious brow-furrowing included.

NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST – I see two disaffected young people with monotone voices, pretending not to be in love….

MAX PAYNE – I see another video game movie following the rule: no video game movie shall ever be good…

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 - I see the strange, warped minds of tweens eating this crap up, to mind-bogglingly, high box office receipts…

*puts the crystal ball down*

Yes, I know there are still many to see, but I must rest my weary senses. If you have a film you want me to check my crystal ball for, feel free submit them in a comment.

…Oh, and Warner Bros?? F&^& you VERY MUCH for moving Harry Potter up to the Summer.

TROPIC THUNDER

dcmoviegirl — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:33:05 +0000

Well, it was neither that funny, nor that bad…At least to this still sleepy, non-morning person, who attended an early showing. All of fifteen other people were in the audience.

Problematic racial and disability ickyness, aside, it was alright.

I chuckled pretty consistently throughout, but three parts, in particular, got my loud annoying laugh, snorting included. As always, I will not divulge what those parts are, here.

That much talked-about cameo, that should have been funny, scared the crap out of me, instead….The arms and hands, y’all, the arms and the hands….*shudder* And please, a white guy hip-hop routine?…That dead horse is dust, now.

On the blackface. Downey, is as expected, very good. He brings the acting skills “A” game to the self-important white-guy playing a black guy routine. Husky voiced, bug-eyed, toughness included.

…Yes, the joke is on actors like Angelina Jolie, talking out of one side of her mouth about where the black princesses are for her little girl, but still playing The Fox and Marianne Pearl in all her whiteness. There is, however, much ickyness in translation, y’all.

The white guy-in-blackface “cool factor” that has been pushed, since we first heard about this movie, is just as jacked-up as those self-important actors Stiller lampoons. The fact that the “real black guy” did a lackluster job didn’t help matters, either (in a role lampooning taking yet another acting job from real black actors’ hands).

It’s the reason why Chappelle quit, y’all. Folks were laughing at the shuffling and not the joke that shuffling is. Such is the case, here. Most of America just ain’t there enough to get it, yet. That goes for the joke on able-bodied actors taking on special roles to Oscar accolades, as well.

I can already see many a baseball-capped college guy doing their best “Black Downey Jr.” and Simple Jack impersonations. Yuck.

So, yes there are laughs here, but what was meant to be funny gets muddled in translation. The cartoonishness of the “real” stereotypical locations and people juxtaposed with all this, doesn’t help matters.

Still, it gets the from me.

Funny counts for a lot…If only the idea had been handled by more capable hands.

PARENTS: There are graphically-depicted war scenes and effects. It’s definitely not for kiddies.

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2

dcmoviegirl — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:20:44 +0000

I hate to say it, but Sisterhood 2 sucks, y’all. And you know how much I’ve been looking forward to it.

The first Sisterhood was seriously slept-on. It was this little gem of a film, that did almost everything right for the “real” girls, out there. From showing realistic life-challenges, to dealing with them in a smart, entertaining way, it was definitely one of my favorite chick-flicks from recent years. In an era when make-over movies *cough*housebunny*cough* pass for girl-power affirmation, that is rare indeed.

This second installment is a meandering mess of a movie. I was bored silly. The four young leads do what they can, but the material just doesn’t support them.

Everything that was great about the first film was put by the wayside in the sequel. Gone is the light humor and the refreshingly plausible resolutions to teen challenges.

In it’s place? We have a plodding series of story lines, the blandest male-leads I have seen in a good long while, unresolved plot lines, and clichéd, soap opera-like twists. We have “overheard gossip”, the mean girl, the love triangle, and of course, the shy-girl/cute boy storyline. None, I would mind if they were executed in a way that was at least, interesting.

The writing isn’t the only issue here. This movie is molasses slow.

Sanaa Hamri is a director I am really rooting for. She’s one of the few black female directors working in Hollywood, but she really has no clue how to do dramatic pauses (beats). They were just placed at the weirdest places in the film, stalling the already slow pace. Pants 2 could’ve easily been ninety minutes instead of the looong two hours it was, if only a few of the those awkward beats had been taken out.

And the guy pictured above? …Is a classic demonstration of the old adage ‘beauty is only skin-deep’ (Tom Wisdom, sorry man). He was bland, about as deep as puddle, and one-note. Therefore, he was eye-rollingly annoying, every time he opened his mouth, and not the least bit attractive to me.

On the good side, it was nice to see a non-asexual Asian man (Leonardo Nam) in an American film, FINALLY!! And he happened to be one of the more interesting guys in the movie.

So, I’m stuck between this and this . It was good to see the girls reunited again, but the Pants 2 let them down.

PARENTS: It’s directed at teen girls, so the issues are relevant to them, including a few that are sexual in nature. If you thought the first one was appropriate for your young people, this one should be fine too.